


Ask A Nanny (The Ankh-Morpork Times Advice Column)

by Tanaqui



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Advice Column, Gen, In-Universe Social Media and Communication - Advice Column
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24926746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanaqui/pseuds/Tanaqui
Summary: This week, Nanny answers questions about employment issues and work-life balance.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22
Collections: Unconventional Fanwork Exchange 2020





	Ask A Nanny (The Ankh-Morpork Times Advice Column)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KillClaudio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillClaudio/gifts).



**Ask A Nanny**

This week, Nanny answers questions about employment issues and work-life balance. [1]

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

My husband is a senior public servant who is very devoted to his job. Because of the unpredictable nature of his work, he often puts in long and erratic hours. He regularly stays late at the office — even overnight sometimes! — and frequently grabs unhealthy snacks from the canteen at work rather than eating proper meals. He also often forgets (or “forgets”?) joint appointments and social events, although I keep buying him the latest models of the Disorganiser to help him remember. Recently, he even promised to take me on a holiday, but it quickly became apparent that he only chose the destination because it fitted in with a work commitment in the area! 

While I do my best to support him in his work, I’m worried about the impact on his health and on our family life, especially as we are now expecting our first child. 

I love my husband dearly and believe he also loves me and is excited to welcome our child onto the Disc, but how can I encourage him to adopt a healthier work-life balance?  
— Suffering in Scoone Avenue

Dear Suffering

First of all, congratulations on the forthcoming addition your family. However, as you have discovered, being in a relationship with a workaholic is not easy. While it’s good that you want to support your husband’s work, I’m glad you recognise that you and your child also deserve a fair share of your husband’s time.

I think it’s time to sit down with your husband and discuss how your lives will change once your bundle of joy arrives, what kind of relationship he wants to build with his son or daughter, and what that means for the way he approaches work. As it can be hard to break ingrained habits, perhaps he can start by making one small commitment, such as promising to always be home to help with bath-time or to read a story to your child at bed-time.

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

I am in what you might describe as a non-exec board-level role supervising a local institution. The activities of some of the members of the institution can result, on occasion, in major disruption to their neighbours in the city. This is causing much friction in the district and I worry that next time it will be resolved only with a three-foot length of lead pipe, a meat cleaver or a vat of embalming fluid.

On the most recent occasion, I was able to smooth matters over and redirect the specific offender to a job in another organisation where I also have a leadership role. (This new position, incidentally, has proved a much better fit for his talents.) However, I am at a loss to know how to prevent further disturbances. What do you advise?  
— Puzzled at the Palace

Dear Puzzled

The most straightforward course of action would be to work with your fellow board members to agree and enforce a policy that forbids members of the institution from engaging in these disruptive behaviours. However, I understand that there may not be the political will for this. Would it be possible for the institution to move its activities — or that part of them that disturbs the neighbours — to a location outside the city?

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

I have recently received a promotion at work. This comes with some welcome extra powers and responsibilities, but also a new corporate uniform that I find extremely uncomfortable and which often gets in the way of my work. My boss is insisting that I wear the new uniform as much as possible, citing the importance of maintaining and strengthening the company brand as we go through a period of expansion. How can I persuade him that this isn’t necessary and that I would be more effective in my old uniform?  
— Pained of Pseudopolis Yard

Dear Pained

Your boss is right that it’s important to demonstrate the company’s values and create the right public impression when representing your company. However, he may not be aware that the new uniform is interfering with your performance at work. I think it’s time for the two of you to have a sit-down to discuss the issue. Perhaps you can agree a compromise that will let you wear your old uniform when carrying out your day-to-day duties and your new uniform during official meetings and public engagements.

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

A couple of years ago, I promoted one of my employees into a role that encompasses International Development responsibilities. While this employee is extremely effective at establishing the circumstances on the ground in other countries, it has recently come to my attention that it was actually his wife who provided the political and diplomatic skills that were vital to successfully concluding several contracts. I do not wish to lose the excellent investigative abilities of my employee but feel he is, overall, not entirely suited to the role. Would it be weird to encourage him to take his wife with him on all foreign assignments?  
— Confused in the City

Dear Confused

Yes, that would be very weird — and entirely inappropriate. You seem to have fallen into the common trap of undervaluing the work women do and failing to provide appropriate compensation. If this woman would be such an asset to your operations then, for Om’s sake, offer her a job and a suitable salary!

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

I am the personal assistant to one of the Disc’s leading CEOs. I love my job and strive in every way to be the perfect office wife, whether I’m managing his paperwork, arranging his diary, walking his dog or collecting his dry cleaning from the Launderers’ Guild. However, my boss is very secretive and aloof — perhaps as a result of having been betrayed by my predecessor — and I feel that this is preventing me from serving him to the best of my abilities. He won’t even tell me when his birthday is, what his favourite colour is or which desert from Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook is his favourite! How can I get him to acknowledge that I could be so much more to him?  
— Anxious in Ankh-Morpork

Dear Anxious

While I admire your commitment to doing your best at work, it’s really up to your boss to set the boundaries when it comes to the extent of your duties and the information you need to know to perform them to an acceptable standard. Although you feel your boss isn’t seeing your full potential, it sounds like you’ve already directly approached him about taking on additional tasks and been politely but firmly closed down. Your boss almost certainly knows that he could ask for more from you if he needs to, so you need to accept that he’s happy with the current situation.

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

I am concerned that one of my direct reports has developed a crush on me. They keep trying to find out when my birthday is, offering to cook for me and attempting to guess my favourite colour. They take any opportunity they can to touch me, such as trying to straighten my clothing before visitors are shown in “to make sure I look presentable”. They are also willing to run any errand and even walk my dog! Apart from this over-familiar behaviour, they are otherwise an excellent employee. How can I gently but firmly make it clear to them that I will always value their professional input but am not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship?  
— Overwhelmed in the Oblong Office

Dear Overwhelmed

It’s likely that your employee’s crush will burn itself out in a few weeks. Until then, your best steps are to: make it clear that you’re not interested by refusing any overtures (pointing out they’re not appropriate); quietly report the matter to your HR department; and try as much as possible to avoid being alone with this person.

~oOo~

Dear Nanny

I am a self-employed entrepreneur with a portfolio of interests that includes providing counselling and advice services, writing best-selling books, and providing staffing to my country’s civil service and to a number of local businesses.

As you can imagine, my brand is very important to the success of my various enterprises. I have recently learned that someone in another territory has been exploiting my brand by providing advice services under my name. I am very angry about this! What steps can I take to deal with this threat to my business?  
— Livid in Lancre

Dear Livid

I can understand why you might be upset, but have you considered that perhaps this is simply a misunderstanding? As you mention that the person “exploiting” your brand is operating in another territory, they may be unaware that they’ve chosen a similar business name to yours. I’m sure that a civil discussion one-to-one — with no need to involve lawyers or take strong action in the first instance — would be able to resolve the situation. Perhaps you could even come to a financial arrangement in which you would receive compensation for the use of your name? This could even provide an excellent opportunity to begin developing a franchise operation that would allow you to extend your brand into new territories.

**Editor’s Note:** we regret to announce that “Nanny” is leaving the Ankh-Morpork Times. From next week, our advice column will be provided by “Dear Dotsie and Sadie”.

_ [1] Disclaimer: Letters may have been edited for reasons of space. The Ankh-Morpork Times does not guarantee that edited letters reflect the original, nor does it accept any legal liability for the consequences of following Nanny’s advice. _


End file.
